The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof. (Richard Bach)
When I was growing up I think I may have doubted this phrase, but as I have gotten older I realize there is so much truth in this. My friend told me once, that you can not pick your family but, you can create one with people you are close too. In this phrase the “true family” that is mentioned represents to me the friends that have become my family over the years. Currently I have a sister that I hardly talk to but have developed such a great friendship with one of my good friends that she has become like a sister to me. I do not feel the void of my blood sister because it has been replaced by all my friends that I now consider as sisters. I believe that for the most part, families have to love each other because they are related. With friends this is different; friends choose to love one another. Families may demand respect from each other, where as, friends earn your trust and respect. Friends can bring a lot of joy in your life and can become part of your family with earning your trust and respect.
In being gay I have noticed that I have been rejected more by my own family then with friends. I think within the gay culture we naturally accept one another, knowing we all have a story of what made us who we are, and that someone in our families is always resentful of us. I think that this helps to establish bonds within a group. My neighbors across the street are gay, and when my girlfriend and I go to visit we always refer to ourselves as family. I think this is because of the trust we have with one another and also the knowledge that all of us have had a hard to getting to where we are today. True friendships can create a strong bond that includes your friends as family. I do not see that all families are friends.
I know my family that I was born into will always be my God given family but that this does not mean I can not add to my family. Currently my uncle is more a father to me then my own father. I feel lucky that even though I was not given the ideal father in my eyes that I am lucky enough to have an uncle that fills the rule. I believe that many people consider non blood relatives as family and that as the phrase states; you just need respect and joy in each other’s life to truly be a family.
